Saturday, 6 September 2008

Is Die Another Day The Worst Movie Ever Made?

Just watched Die Another Day tonight, as a brainless Saturday night thing (Yes. I had nothing better to do this Saturday night). Well this is going to be brief. As a person who likes a good action film, this was unforgivable.

A plot that wasn't interesting, that led to lots of set-pieces that were frequently stupid (Bond spends a lot of time out-running a satellite ray that should kill him with no problem, for minutes, that makes you realise how dumb it is, and then drives through a base that is being burned by the power of the sun, yet takes minutes to collapse, leaving everyone alive inside) The action simply had no drive nor effective linkages to set up tension or surprise, the way the early films did, had moments going on for minutes of one guy being chased monotonously, no wit used nor character to keep you focused, over-staying its welcome so long that you see how dodgy the effects are. It's a film about dull effects that makes Moonraker look good.

The film was also so dumb with character in set-up so had no fun interactions, which is really the point of a Bond movie. Even a suggestion that the villainess had lesbian tendencies did not get me interested, which is a bad sign. Worst of all, the dialogue was simply continuous bad and obvious one-liners, done for minutes on end. Also there were very obvious thought-bubble comments. Compared to early Connery or top-camp Moore, this was deadly stuff. (Confession time, I have a seriously embarrassing number of Bond films on DVD. It goes nice with Ozu and Bresson, especially the Roger Moore stuff) It's hard to believe the same team came up with Casino Royale a few years later, because it goes from such utter, insulting dreck like this to a proper movie, Casino Royale being one of the best bonds you could ever want.

As a person who loves a bad film, this was even worse, was joyless. Even though it was awful it was deadly dull. It had no train-wreck qualities that make up Batman & Robin, Speed 2, Wild Wild West, films that make you swear that hell is on earth.

Brosnan looked like he was getting on a bit, ready to enter late Roger Moore era-looks, when you wondered how the hell can that old guy do that. Basically, Indy 4 seems more realistic than this in aging leading man stakes. Its not hard to see why he was replaced. Also he was so dull in this film, was working by rote. The only fun bit is where someone put Michael Madsen and Judi Dench in the same frame. That's the highpoint of this thing.

In fact, one film that is worse is xxx 2, directed by the same guy as this one. (You make a bond film then make an Ice Cube film that was turned down by Vin Deisel. This is russian roulette style movie-making from a guy who once had respect as a director)

I hope no-one was expecting real depth to this complaint. I'm simply shocked at how awful it was on rewatching.

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