Sunday, 26 October 2008

William Shatner's Hair

For reasons best known to my subconscious I watched Star Trek 3 (on the plus side also watched a documentary of Italian gialli genius Dario Argento)

Well, it wasn't very good, neither downbeat or meditative enough to be a film genuinely about grief nor flight of foot in a way that is an exciting adventure. Basically they're in grief, go to a planet, have a few fights, go to Vulcan, make Spock better. The end. Not much in the way of story there. Not even blowing up the Enterprise or killing Kirk's son helps it be interesting. The death of Kirk's son is hilarious, first the incompetent death itself, which is one of the weakest fights even to disgrace celluloid, and then Shatner's reaction, which is is pure ham, not one moment that's not fake, making it a laugh riot.

It was the film where it was becoming obvious that watching these old guys fight wasn't really working, was very mirth-inducing. Shatner spends most of his time keeping in his ample stomach. The fight between Kirk and the Klingon, despite being against a backdrop of an exploding planet, is truly hilarious, no punch ever seeming to land but gets a reaction, the pauses between cuts, reactions, all painfully slow. (Someone, not Shatner, does a back-flip as Kirk). Worst is Shatner's hair-piece, blown by strong wind. I swear I was getting distracted and missed half the fight watching this bloody thing.

And then the finale. A Vulcan ceremony done against lots of fades, set against some truly bad acting (especially by Scotty, who just doesn't seem to give a f**k). And that final line, minutes after Spock gets his brain back. "Your name is Jim, isn't it?" Pure cheese.

So, long story short, I have so little pride that I will watch Star Trek 3 of a Sunday afternoon.

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